Marlboro On: Bonking the Neighbour - Update

I'm totally over it.

Hot or not hot it's officially no longer happening - when it is less sore I will explain the in's and outs (not literally) of the situation as it unravelled.

Or not.

I'll decide after eating this entire pack of chocolate covered hobnobs, looking at pictures of the hot Supermodel brother over the internet and wondering what might have been.

Blah to the world.

MM x

Marlboro On: New Shoes

I swear studding detail is beginning to take over my life.

Sandals: River Island £35

Marlboro On: Princess's Birthday

happy 25th birthday grandma...

in case you were wondering, yes this is her

The shiniest... sorry oldest shiniest slut in the universe.

love you bitch-face

MM x

P.S how many of you clocked the princess cake, she takes her title very seriously

Marlboro On: Bonking the neighbour

I'm totally doing it.

I had written it off as a no no until I happened to see him last weekend and realised that he was smokin' hot- oh yes folks, I run THAT deep.

In actual fact he is from a family of hotness .

His brother is a top model - as in Dior, Lagerfeld, last week he was doing the Chanel show in Venice, (tragically these things do impress me).

What's more they live together...

Therefore I get to bonk one, and perv on the other over breakfast.

There are no words.

MM x

There are no words... literally!

Some of you may think I am a bit of a drama Queen.

I agree (very loosely) I suppose, but I also say here's two shiny fingers up to those who thought I was feigning illness to (as usual) get out of doing stuff.
'Stuff' I suppose would denote: work, tidying up my crap, being nice to people etc etc- things people don't generally want to do. Anyho, turns out I have acute tonsillitis and a stomach infection- icky I know!
Marl puts this down to kissing too many boys and not eating enough vegetables... blah.

Tonsillitis is not caused by kissing boys!

I know this because a seven year old in Hollyoaks has it (who knew soaps had educational benefits).

So there!

Anyho, being holed up at home with 11 antibiotics to take and no alcohol for the next 10 days has been a blast. In the last 2 days I have consumed 24 mini pastry twists... and I don't even like pastry! What is it about being sick that makes you do crazy things? I can hardly speak or eat solids, yet there is no end to the amount of packaged sugar coated twists I can stuff down my trap.

I suppose I've generally been feeling sorry for myself... like Bambi when her mother died *violins*.

Anyway as it's my birthday in 2 weeks, I've been thinking of all the things I could not possibly live without/want to marry (whilst on my sickbed naturally). It seems like there is no end to my crop top obsession. I asked MM today if she thought I would end up a 60 year old crop top wearer?

Her answer 'If I could show off my stomach everyday until I was 60, it wouldn't be a bad thing'.

Humm...

(1. Silence + Noise £22, 2. Urban Outfitters £20, 3. Silence + Noise £28)

I also find myself wanting tassled leggings (don't ask) and a magazine with my name and year of birth (an eBay find) emblazoned across it- for the narcissist in me!

PP x

Edit: Last night I won the magazine... oh yeahh! Also, mega love to Leith as we sare the same birthday- hope you get your photo book!

Marlboro On: Sunday afternoons in...

Never ending.

I went meet my friend Candy for a nice lunch on Commercial St after spending the afternoon walking around spitafields market.

'Lunch' turned into 'lunch with wine' which then turned into drinks on the Patio of the Big chill which turned into daytime raving at 93 Feet East.

Yes daytime Raving, yes it does exist - everything exists here in London.

I was smashed by 6pm and at 9pm I was drink dialling Princess while kissing my hand and waving at the sky a la the father character from Eddie Murphy's 1980's Raw sketch show. Throughout all this I was walking around with the top half of my Miami floral dress around my waist Bra/ corset exposed.

The night ended with my walking home with a self confessed 'murder' and a random guy who thought it was sexual to expose his "six-pack" chest at me at every 4 minutes, because Candy ran off to catch the bus (I didn't snog either of them by the way, I would rather kiss my own toes - because I know you were wondering).

If I was sober I would have been terrified because both were CRAZY SAUCE. I did mnage to escape and catch a cab home.

Now I'm poor, and hungover.

Blah.

MM x

Marboro On: Friday night in...?

Evidently I'm incapable of doing it.

Tonight was supposed to be a detox night... Quiet night to appreciate the self (not the touching one's kind).

Apparently I don't know how do this, realisation hit me when I found myself halfway through a bottle of white wine and on the phone to Tone organising a night of quiet dancing in the nearest bar.

Shameless is me.

Anyway brought this sexy number today... think ankle boots or tan nine west heeches and a denim jacket.


Dress: Miami Floral bodycon £30 Topshop




Sex and shine.

Marlboro On: Howdy neighbour...

My new neighbourhood brings out the worst in me.

I know it's completely lameo to blame the new diggs, the new area and the shiny hotness that walk the streets....

However its true. Believe me when I say - the worst of Martini is brought on by the streets of Primrose of Hill.

Since being here all I have wanted to do is get shiny and as Princess rightly states in the blog post below, all I (and Princess) have done is get SHINY SHINY every weekend.

It is not an excuse, however it is, however unlike Princess I am not under any emotional duress and have not decided to GIVE MY CLOTHES AWAY FOR FREE.. No, I am not insane.

However in order to make up my two weeks of non blogging I have decided to make more of a concerted effort to share the stories of my shiny shinyness.

When we last spoke, I outlined my absolute desire to get shiny at all costs - I think I said something along the lines of 'after 4 months of no sex I want to lie in the middle of the road with my legs wide open so someone will shag me (OMG my baby sister reads this with all of her friends from uni - MORTIFYING - however, the show must go on *please don't tell mum...).

I can safely say since I have lived here, this has not happened - thankfully.

I have however kissed a whole lot of boys (and probably contracted swine-flu in the process). I have also had - one, and only one - slip of the shiny.

With the neighbour.

Blah.

I met him one a night out with Princess - who else?

I say on a night out, I mean to say on our way to a night out, where Princess, who was supposed to arrive at 9pm actually go here at 11pm and in my 2 hr wait I had managed to down an entire bottle of Cava...

Me and alcohol not the most righteous combination.

So we turn onto the main road beginning our decent down the hill towards Camden and there he was, also making his decent down the Hill towards Camden with four of his friends.

I think I asked him what the time was; well I know I asked him for something... as I was drunk and also being deviously cunning... I knew he was going to be the premier shiny.

I won't go into ALL the shoddy details of the evening, we hung out with the lads for the entire night and the highlight has to have been when one of them the guys from the group - who shall be referred to as 'Grumpy A' started singing 'disgustiiiinnnnnggg' to the 'witches' in the Hawley Arms... As a woman I am officially totally against men calling other women names of the sort - unofficially and drunk me found it freaking HILARIOUS.

I guess you had to have been there...

I'll move on.

The end of the night I went back to Shiny Boy's apartment which, is literally across the road from my place (the clue is in the blog title) and ended up - well, doing the shiny stuff (all this while Princess thought it would be fun to bonk his mate on the couch, back at my place - yes I think she likes it there too).

Hmmm


Anyway, this guy, my premiere shiny, the Adonis in a beanie hat had all the machinery but obviously not the instuction manual.

It was so cringe worthy, I decided half way through to announce I was going to sleep. Then I did.

I hate to quote the obvious metaphor however, there words to describe the disappointment of unwrapping a shiny new toy and finding that it does not work properly...

humpft.

He now does this really weird thing, texting me at midnight... 2am... 1.45am... for goodness knows what reason.

I respond telling him to text me at a decent hour, and only if he wants to come over and share a beer and pizza with myself and my housemate and MY BOYFRIEND.

All in the name of being neighbourly of course.

MM x x x x x x x x

Spring Clean

Right, no excuses.

My lack of CHH postage basically boils down to acts of shinyness (well I suppose I speak for MM too). Partying in the ‘Cool Den’ Camden since Marl moved to the nicer part of London has taken over our lives.

Weekends have consisted of finding shiny outfits, finding shiny bars, finding shiny boys, finding places to get shiny. That is all.

So today I slapped myself on the wrists and shouted ‘no more’ from the rooftops (really I did)!
Anyho, to make it up to our readers I had a quick spring clean of my closet/attic/clothes cemetary and have decided to give away a few items. Yes that’s right, GIVEAWAY… for FREE. I mean I love you guys more than eBay (it’s a bit of a drag) and if nobody wants my shiny old crap, it will go to my nearest charity shop in 7 days.
So if you want them they’re yours:




































































1+2. Vintage 'Lamis Khamis' customised levi's slasher skirt- please note this is tiny. It has no tags and I am a UK 6, but I say again it is tiny. This will only fit you if you are a waist 24/25... think Lovemore size, lol!
3. Topshop waistcoat- size UK 6
4. Black vest with sequins- UK size 10. I like vests kinda loose so this depends on how you wear your clothes.
5. 'Lamis Khamis' customised black vest- M. This will fit a UK 8 perfectly. It has a 'drawn on' chain and beads, ornaments and trinkets attached to it... super cute.
6. 'RARE' for Topshop spotted cross over top- UK size 1. This has lace trimmings and a white patent side buckle. Scandalous, haha!
7. Backless, low cut slouch top from Portobello Market - one size. Super summery, clinched, tight bottom (white section).
8. Flowery sequin vest- UK size 10 (see no. 4)
9. Lulu & Red for Topshop dotted crop top. I actually want to keep this one (and no MM you cannot have it, blah). It has a pearl heart and yellow ribbon attached, with a button. No size- but I would say a UK 6.
10. MNG 'trashbag' top. F***king love this trash. UK S, this has a cross over bandaged front. I'm thinking white denim shorts and black docs, a la Tallulah. Sexual.
11. Topshop zipper top- UK 8. Super cute, with black/grey ruffles. Cut into a crop top and hey presto.
The small print:

• First come first serve: Email me @ platformprincess1@googlemail.com and let me know what you want… simple!
• Only one item per reader
• Winner must have a paypal account

The catch:

YOU MUST PAY POSTAGE… Because mama didn’t raise no fool!

(Email me @ platformprincess1@googlemail.com for postage quotes)

PP x