Marlboro On: Howdy neighbour...

My new neighbourhood brings out the worst in me.

I know it's completely lameo to blame the new diggs, the new area and the shiny hotness that walk the streets....

However its true. Believe me when I say - the worst of Martini is brought on by the streets of Primrose of Hill.

Since being here all I have wanted to do is get shiny and as Princess rightly states in the blog post below, all I (and Princess) have done is get SHINY SHINY every weekend.

It is not an excuse, however it is, however unlike Princess I am not under any emotional duress and have not decided to GIVE MY CLOTHES AWAY FOR FREE.. No, I am not insane.

However in order to make up my two weeks of non blogging I have decided to make more of a concerted effort to share the stories of my shiny shinyness.

When we last spoke, I outlined my absolute desire to get shiny at all costs - I think I said something along the lines of 'after 4 months of no sex I want to lie in the middle of the road with my legs wide open so someone will shag me (OMG my baby sister reads this with all of her friends from uni - MORTIFYING - however, the show must go on *please don't tell mum...).

I can safely say since I have lived here, this has not happened - thankfully.

I have however kissed a whole lot of boys (and probably contracted swine-flu in the process). I have also had - one, and only one - slip of the shiny.

With the neighbour.

Blah.

I met him one a night out with Princess - who else?

I say on a night out, I mean to say on our way to a night out, where Princess, who was supposed to arrive at 9pm actually go here at 11pm and in my 2 hr wait I had managed to down an entire bottle of Cava...

Me and alcohol not the most righteous combination.

So we turn onto the main road beginning our decent down the hill towards Camden and there he was, also making his decent down the Hill towards Camden with four of his friends.

I think I asked him what the time was; well I know I asked him for something... as I was drunk and also being deviously cunning... I knew he was going to be the premier shiny.

I won't go into ALL the shoddy details of the evening, we hung out with the lads for the entire night and the highlight has to have been when one of them the guys from the group - who shall be referred to as 'Grumpy A' started singing 'disgustiiiinnnnnggg' to the 'witches' in the Hawley Arms... As a woman I am officially totally against men calling other women names of the sort - unofficially and drunk me found it freaking HILARIOUS.

I guess you had to have been there...

I'll move on.

The end of the night I went back to Shiny Boy's apartment which, is literally across the road from my place (the clue is in the blog title) and ended up - well, doing the shiny stuff (all this while Princess thought it would be fun to bonk his mate on the couch, back at my place - yes I think she likes it there too).

Hmmm


Anyway, this guy, my premiere shiny, the Adonis in a beanie hat had all the machinery but obviously not the instuction manual.

It was so cringe worthy, I decided half way through to announce I was going to sleep. Then I did.

I hate to quote the obvious metaphor however, there words to describe the disappointment of unwrapping a shiny new toy and finding that it does not work properly...

humpft.

He now does this really weird thing, texting me at midnight... 2am... 1.45am... for goodness knows what reason.

I respond telling him to text me at a decent hour, and only if he wants to come over and share a beer and pizza with myself and my housemate and MY BOYFRIEND.

All in the name of being neighbourly of course.

MM x x x x x x x x